Life and Times of Mrs. S: August 2010

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Meal ideas

Monday, August 30, 2010

That is my new label. I have yet to discover exactly what it means. " Motherless"- with out a mother. Well yes that would be me, I joined the "motherless" club 2 months ago today. But you know what, I'm not "motherless" I have had the great pleasure of being loved by one of the most caring, wonderful women in the world for just over 23 years. Yes, she is now gone so technically I am "Motherless" but I don't think of it that way. I have a mother, she is now just my angel, she is around me all the time, she sees everything and I can carry her in my heart.

Can we change the name of the "Motherless" Club to " Mother's with Wings" club? I will always have a mother, her dying does not take her away from me. She is still my Momma, she is just not with me physically anymore. I will always know I am loved by my Momma.

I was directed to read a book called "Motherless Daughters" by someone who had lost their Mother some time ago. I was told not to read it until I was ready. I thought I was, so when we were in Barnes and Nobel the other night I picked it up and read the first couple of pages. With everything surrounding my Mom's death, I have felt nothing but peace and comfort. With this book I did not, I felt like I was on pins and needles. I'm not ready for this book, so I put it away. And as I put the book back on the shelf I had this feeling like I was expecting the book to tell me how to deal with this, how to hurt a little less, how to not make my husband worry about me because of my breakdowns that can occur at the drop of anything. I learned in those few pages that I did read that no one can give me this advise but me, its something I am going to have to learn over time.

I have found in the last 2 months that I have spent a lot of time looking back on when I was nine and my Grandma died. Not because I am reliving that, but because I am looking back and remembering the grace and strength my Mom had during that time, and the last 14 years of living without her mother. I can only hope that I am dealing with this with as much strength and grace as my Mom did.

So Momma, your in my thoughts every minute of everyday. I miss you like you wouldn't know, but then I remember you would because you missed your Momma the exact same way. I'm taking it all a moment at a time. Love you Momma.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Time

Its almost been 2 months since we said good bye. I don't know if it gets easier, all I know is that for me the pain comes and goes. Some days I'm fine, I miss her buts its not unbearable, other days its consumes me for a few hours at a time. Things can set me off at the drop of a hat, songs, pictures, ect.

I know the numbness is not as bad as it used to be, we are settling into a new normal.

I have days where I think its unfair still, which as E likes to remind me there is no fairness in life and death. But still its not fair. Other women will be able to tell their mother's they are pregnant, I won't get to. They will get to do baby shopping together, I won't. I know she was here on my wedding day and that means a lot to me, but I want her here for those other special moments too.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Blackberry Jam!

When I was home last I went with my Mom's best friend J to pick blackberries. I so far have made one batch, and I froze the rest to make more later. Look how pretty it looks!

Thumbie

Here is my Thumbie. I love it!

Meal planning

So I thought since I will be alone this weekend, I'll get a head start on my meal planning for the next two weeks. It saves us money for me to do it this way and all around its easier.

Week one: August 22- August 28
Sunday- Sloppy Joes, squash
Monday- enchiladas
Tuesday- Bow-tie Lasagna , squash, garlic bread
Wednesday- leftovers
Thursday-breakfast for dinner
Friday- Homemade pizza
Saturday-leftovers

Week two: August 29- September 4
Sunday- breakfast for dinner
Monday- Tacos
Tuesday- Mac and Cheese, squash, bread ( easy night because I am reheating the mac and cheese I have frozen)
Wednesday- toastadas with leftover meat from Monday
Thursday- leftovers.
Friday and Saturday we will be gone.

String Pie

If you love spaghetti and you love lasagna you will love String Pie!

1/2 package or more spaghetti noodles
1 lbs lean ground beef or turkey
1/2 white onion chopped
1 jar spaghetti sauce
1 container cottage cheese
grated parm cheese
butter
grated moz. cheese

In pan brown meat with onions. In salted or oiled water cook your noodles. Drain fat off of meat mixture and combine with sauce in separate bowl, set aside. Drain water from noodles, mix in small amount of butter and parm cheese, pour into bottom of square or 9x13 glass baking dish. Pour cottage cheese evenly over the top of noodle mixture, over that pour meat mixture. Over meat mixture spread the grated moz cheese. Bake uncovered at 350 for about 20 minutes until cheese is melted and you can see bubbles.
Enjoy!

*this recipe comes from a family friend, Tammy Myers. *

Hot Crash Potatoes

This recipe is from Pioneer Woman. I had heard all sorts of raves about it, so I decided to try it. Oh man its amazing! If you are a potato lover like I am you will love this recipe. E loves them as well.
http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2008/06/crash-hot-potatoes/

My only adaption to the recipe is I use Yukon Gold or little yellow potatoes instead of reds. E and I like the buttery taste of Yukon Gold's better and I personally think they handle this cooking method better.

Enjoy!

Zucchini Bread, Paula Dean, and waiting

So we are switching internet and cable providers today. They have been here off and on for over 2 hours and still haven't started installing the new stuff. I am getting very frustrated. I am trying to channel the patience of Job and my Mom, its currently not working.

I had some zucchini's in the fridge and have been missing my Momma something awful the last couple of days so I decided that since I am finally over whatever sickness I had over the weekend that I would make some today. My house smells like my Momma's kitchen and I LOVE it.

I have the tv on the cooking channel today, and Paula Dean came on. My Momma loved her, she would watch her every day while she was sick. Then Paula said something about okra and my heart skipped a beat. My Momma loved her some fried okra!

Gosh things have been hard, I miss her. I want to call and talk to her and I just can't. Talking out loud helps but sometimes I just want to see her face, hear her voice and feel her arms around me. I miss her something crazy.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Meal Planning

Sunday- leftovers
Monday- Garlicy Chicken with Rosemary and Lemon with Rosemary Potatoes and green beans
Tuesday- Pasta with pesto and bread
Wednesday- Tater Tot Casserole
Thursday- leftovers
Friday- dinner out

Friday, August 13, 2010

Aunt Gracie's Cake

This is a recipe from my husband's family. We are not exactly sure who Aunt Gracie is or how long this recipe has been around but my Mother-in-Law and my husband's Aunt rave over it. I tried it out today. Its amazing. It calls for red food coloring which makes the cake pink but I'm sure you could use whatever color you wanted.

2 cups flour

2 cups sugar

1 cup milk

3 eggs

1 cup butter

1 tsp baking powder

pinch of salt

1 tsp vanilla

1 tsp red food coloring ( you could use what ever you want its just want the recipe says)

Cream butter, sugar, eggs, vanilla, and food coloring together. Add remaining ingredients. Bake in a bunt pan(greased) for about 75 minutes at 325.

Serve plain, with butter frosting or a glaze. I'm doing a glaze. The cake is light and fluffy.

Things that remind me of my Mom

Some things that remind me of her make complete sense and people get. Like making jam, baking, using any of my Pampered Chef stuff. Today I was deciding if I should make cheesecake cupcakes or make cupcakes using a recipe from my husbands family. I was cleaning and talking out loud to my Mom, then it hit me I should use my cute flower cupcake pan and make Aunt Gracie's cake. It was like my Mom was saying hey A use your cute pan!

Then other things that remind me of my Mom would probably wired to some people. For example every time I blow dry my hair I think of Mom. No, my Mom was not a hair dresser. We fought all the time when I was in high school over my blow dryer. My Mom thought it was the best blow dryer ever and would always take it out of my bathroom and up to her's. When I went to blow my hair dry in the mornings it was always missing. When I went away to college we went on a search for a blow dryer like mine for her. Well no luck. I would get phone calls about how much she missed me but she missed my blow dryer more. I always had to take it home with me so she could use it. So every time I use my green blow dryer I think of my Momma.

Other things that make me think of her are elephants, shoes, the smell of coffee, and chocolate. I wear one of her rings on my hand and every time I look down at it I see her hands. Gosh I love her so much and miss her like crazy.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Thumbies, piles and clothes hangers

Today I revived my thumbie in the shape of a heart with Momma engraved on the back. It took me a while to put it on, it made it all more real. For those of you that don't know what a thumbie is, its the thumbprint of a loved one who has passed away. You can feel the ridges. I've had mine on about 2 hours and can't stop myself from rubbing it and feeling my Mommas finger print. When I have my good camera with me I'll take a picture of it and post it.

This afternoon I spent some time with my Mom-in-law, she just had surgery and needed a little girl talk. She is a wonderful person. I really do love her!

Tonight my brother's girlfriend A helped me to go through my Mom's things. It was hard, but not painful like I thought it would be. I'm so glad A was here, I thought I could do it alone, I couldn't when I started. I didn't know where to start and what to do. I'm keep a lot more than I planned on keeping, some I'll wear, others I plan on making into a quilt someday. My Mom had so many pretty things, so many things I am looking forward to wearing because I know I will feel her around me even more than I already do.

We have a pile that is towering to donate to a local woman's shelter, her wigs are ready to be donated to her oncologists office for someone who is in need of them. Its strange to be taking her things away, it makes all of this so much more real. She really is gone.

Missing you Momma.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Silhouette

The Idea Room is giving away a Silhouette cutter! I am so excited about this. I would love to own one.

http://www.theidearoom.net/2010/08/silhouette-giveaway.html