2 years

Two years. Two whole years. At the end of the month it will officially have been 2 whole years since the last time I held your hand in mine. The last time I kissed your check, the last time I told you I love you in your presence. I can't even believe it some days. Some days it feels like it was yesterday, other days it seems like its been even longer. It hurts Momma. It hurts bad, so so bad.

 Its gotten easier but its still hard. It still hurts, it still makes me have days where I want to hide inside and cry my eyes out and not have anyone see me cry. Other days I'm fine. June has been a terrible month for me so far Momma. I feel like I'm loosing my mind some days, other days I'm myself. I don't know which way is north anymore. I feel like loosing you made me loose my true north. I know I need to find it myself and that your here right next to me guiding me, but sometimes I need to hear those encouraging words that only you knew I needed to hear.

Sometimes I wish I had been older when Grandma died so that I would have been better able to observe how you dealt with everything. Sometimes I think I'm doing the right thing other times I don't even know how to get through the day. Those days are less now but June seems to be the worst month of the whole year.

 Oh and as I typed this I cried my eyes out. I feel a little better now. I forget how therapeutic my writing is. I need to do this more. Okay Momma I'm done for now. I love you.

It's Been a While... Update on life

It has been some time since I last posted. And as per usual life has had its ups and downs. But if it didn't it wouldn't be life then, now would it? Let's see the last time I posted was October. Lets take a look at what we have been doing/what has happened since then. In November we celebrated E's 26th birthday. I made him his favorite cake, Boston Cream Pie.

In December we celebrated our first Christmas in the new house. It truly made me look forward to having children and experiencing Christmas through their eyes. Our house is prefect for Christmas time!

We went home for Christmas and spent time with our families. It was really nice. We also adopted Darcy Jean. She is the sweetest little girl. We are so happy she is part of our family now.

Well that's it for the moment. I'll do January, February and March later.