Time in Slow Motion

Since we brought Momma home on Sunday afternoon time is moving at the speed of light but in slow motion all at once. I don't know how else to describe it, its like you want every last minute so time is moving too quickly, but also you want her to go home to be with Jesus now because you can't watch her suffer. And currently with the medications you can just see that her body is at such peace, I just wish she would be able to let go. Our whole family has been here today and been by our sides.

At 5:30 am C noticed her slowed breathing so we woke Dad up and Brother. I had been up for a bit, I just had this feeling. We prayed and sang some of her favorite songs that she has always loved. We have music playing in the room to bring her some comfort. We take turns sitting with her, I think she just wants a little more time with her family. We have been brought so much closer in the last few months with my Mom's Brother's family and it has been so nice. I think she just doesn't want to let that go yet. Its so hard for me because since I have found peace in this and have told her that I will take care of Daddy and M I just want to see her no longer in pain or feeling as though we are needing her to stay for us. I just want my Momma to be in heaven where she will have a wonderful life.

When I sit with her she doesn't open her eyes or try to speak. But you know what? Its because she knows I know she loves me and I don't need to hear her say it. She listens to me talk, but I don't say much only that I love her and how much she means to me. If I do talk I talk about silly stuff, or how the crochet needle that she was using on the baby afghan that I am finishing is way too small and I can't even begin to understand how she can finish one with it since it is taking me forever and a day!

Over all we are at peace, its a nice feeling. Now its just time.